“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”-Anonymous

It’s one of the most joyful and merry times of the year but for some, it will be the total opposite. We have all at some point experienced the loss of a loved one, I have, and I must say that there is something about this time of the year that adds salt to the wound.

The year of 2006 was the first Christmas without my dearest mother around. I found myself feeling numb during this season. Their was absolutely no reason to be “merry”. The second proved to be a bit more difficult and so did the third. Her absence became more and more evident as the years progressed and it didn’t matter who’s company I was in it still felt empty. The entire season just wasn’t the same without her.

I write this piece because I know that there are probably many people around the world celebrating their first Christmas without a loved one. It’s both heart breaking and comforting knowing that there are other people out there who can relate to the pain.

To those who are experiencing this, I want you to know that its OKAY. It’s okay to be dancing to a Mariah Carey Christmas tune one moment and laughing away because your moves are so out of tune and then sobbing away the next because your loved one would have been laughing with you. It’s okay to stare at and redecorate the Christmas tree for hours on end because it just doesn’t look the same. It’s okay, but its also so hard because you know that every familiar smell, gift or song wont bring them back and all you long for is more time with them.

Truth is, at some point, we are all going to wake up on a Christmas morning and feel that pain that no one deserves to feel on a such a special day. But what if we hold onto the dear special memories we were privileged enough to share with those whom have left us? What if we find peace in knowing that even though they are far apart they are always near? What if we find joy with the people that are in our lives that we are so, so fortunate to be able to spend time with and what if we find comfort in knowing that being “merry” is just what our lost loved one’s would want for us?

The pain hardly ever goes anywhere, but I want everyone who has lost a loved one and has to experience this season without them that you are not alone. May love and light be with you through this season and may you be full of joy, strength and peace.

Love & Light

Donna

“To thine own self be true.”-William Shakespeare

Being real and authentic starts with understanding what it is that drives you, what motivates you, what shakes you to the core of your being. It’s not always easy but if we find the intention behind why we want to do it, it becomes easier.

Once you figure this out, self-acceptance comes into play. The good, the bad and everything in the middle. You don’t need to be perfect, you just have to be yourself. So much power lies in accepting who you truly are. You will come to find that when you are accepting of who you truly are you will automatically become accepting of who others are and come to know and accept that we cannot change another.

While many forces exist that is working against you becoming the best, most creative version of yourself, forces like fear, insecurity, conformity and the unrealistic societal expectations of who you are supposed to be, you have to consistently be self-aware and be aware of your surroundings and also do everything in your power to remove the toxicity from your life and continue creating what only your unique self can create.

Finding your purpose is up to you and nobody else. There is really only so much that other people can do to help you. Becoming self-reliant without expecting too much from others forces you to take accountability and get up everyday to work towards your highest calling. This doesn’t mean that you have to push other people away, it just means that you are depending on yourself and no one else to get to where you need to be. No expectations equals no disappointment.

At the end of it all, all you have to do is be the truest, most real version of yourself and consistently make choices that reflect and support your vision and dreams and when you start to do that you will find peace and purpose in your life and that is the only gift that keeps on giving. Don’t be afraid to share your gift with the world, it’s special.

Love & Light

Donna

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”-Mahatma Gandhi

How do I forgive? A question I have asked many times, and you have quite possibly too. Whether we like it or not, we all must face the question at some point in our lives of whether and how to forgive people whom have does us wrong.

After you have been wronged and all those crappy and hurtful emotions pass you by, you are literally presented with a new challenge: Do you forgive the person/people? Thing is, by forgiving, you are actually letting go of your hurt and judgements and you are giving yourself the space to heal. This might sound like it’s a “walk in the park” to do, but practicing forgiveness can literally feel impossible at times.

To make the process of forgiveness easier on yourself it’s always better to establish and accept that forgiveness does not mean that you are condoning or excusing the actions of the next person. It also does not mean that you have tell the next person that they are forgiven. Realise, that just because you forgive someone that doesn’t mean that you are not allowed to have anymore thoughts or feelings about the situation. It also doesn’t mean that you have to journey on with this person or people in your life. The most important thing is that forgiveness is not something you do for the other person, it’s something you do for yourself.

By forgiving, you are acknowledging and accepting the truth of what has happened and you are simply finding a way to move forward in a position of peace with the situation. Because forgiveness is something you do for yourself, in order to heal, it really can come across as a battle you feel you will never seem to win simply because of all the thoughts and scenarios that keep playing in your mind. Thoughts of revenge, anger, victimization, resentment and even sometimes feelings of loss. These can be dealt with when you actually sit with yourself, sit with those thoughts and emotions then understand why you are feeling this way and then ultimately establish your needs and boundaries through your self-awareness.

You have to be willing to forgive, even though sometimes that would feel impossible, but its important to accept that it happened, acknowledge your growth as a result of what has happened and understand that the person who has wronged you has acted from a point of limited beliefs, you see, by hurting you, the other person has now met a need in their life (as crazy as it sounds).

Lastly, forgiveness finalises what has happened that hurt you. The thoughts of what has happened will still pop up in your head every now and then but you will no longer be bound by it. Forgiving the next person is a wonderful way not only to honour yourself but also to create happier pathways for your future. Forgive! Forgive! Forgive!

Love & Light

Donna

“Freedom on the inside comes when validation from the outside doesn’t matter”-Richie Norton

It really is the station you want to stop at with no-one else besides your Higher Power.

The age we are currently living in encourages us to become “successful” overnight and has lead us to believe that the validity of those whom have already “made it” and, mind you, those who haven’t, is a necessary element to being successful.

The problem with this distorted picture is that it leads us to believe that in order for us to achieve something great we have to be validated, whether it be on social media sites, the workplace, our social circles we move in and, even sometimes, in our families. It could also lie in the materialistic things we accumulate .

Truth is, when you hand the key to your home over to people and things to build you up you are automatically handing  them the power to break that home down again. Don’t do it! You do not need their validation to know your worth.

Conforming in order to be accepted is much like giving your soul away at no cost because this means that you will never be able to tap into the greatness that exists within you.

Do yourself a couple of favours and be BRAVE and BOLD enough to go against the norms. Be brave enough to follow whichever way your heart tells you to go, even if the path gets lonely. Be brave enough to trust that your Higher Power has your back and that everything is happening for your greater good. 

Go to the station without the validation – It’s a peaceful ride.

Love & Light

Donna

“When we tap into our pain we have the ability to create beautiful things.”- Donna Le Roux

We have all experienced pain at some point in our lives and, yes, it freaking hurts! I get that, but what you do with that pain is way more important than the pain itself.

It’s always easier said than done, I know, trust me! but let’s face it, there simply is no benefit in marinating yourself in things that cannot be changed, right?

Here are a few steps that could possibly assist you in turning your pain into power.

Decisions Decisions!!!

Make the conscious decision to let go and stick to it!

You need to commit to yourself that you are going to “let it go” and no matter what, you have to stick to that decision relentlessly, just like that diet 😉

Express the mess!!!!

It’s important to express the pain and the hurt that made you feel this way. It’s also important to know that it’s OKAY to be vulnerable.

Whether you do this through direct communication with the party/parties who have contributed to your pain or even write a letter and then burn it up afterwards (N.B.THE LETTER,NOT THE PERSON, I REPEAT, THE LETTER NOT THE PERSON!) it helps a lot because the point is to get it all out of your system  and in doing this exercise it will also give you understanding and clarity as to why you are hurt. Express the mess!!!!!

Lose the “Vicky the victim mentality”

Playing the victim feels good, it’s almost addictive, NO REALLY!But guess what? the world largely doesn’t care, so you need to get over yourself. Brutally harsh, but true. Of course, our feelings mean something BUT don’t confuse the fact that “your feelings matter” with the fact that “your feelings are the only thing that matters”. Truth is, your feelings are a very miniscule part of this thing we call “life” which is all connected and quite complex and can get really messy at times.

Long story short, you have a choice to make in every moment and truth is that you will either have to make the conscious choice to continue to allow the actions of another person to consume you OR you can take responsibility for your own happiness and not let the next person hold the key to control your destiny. Let go Vicky! Let go!

Forgive for relief

Don’t forget the bad behaviours of another person, but literally everyone deserves our forgiveness, not for them but for your peace. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you are condoning how they have treated you but it is simply saying “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you”. Honestly, this is hard guys, but from experience, it’s a really good decision to make for yourself. This is such a huge sign of strength and self-love, even though you may feel weak.

Your pain and what you have been through does not define who you are as a person, so forgive yourself and do yourself a big favour: LET GO OF THE PAIN and get happy again.

Love & Light

Donna

“Timing is irrelevant when it comes to desire”-Majorie Liu

I have always found myself pondering on timing and how I never quite seem to “get it right”, especially when it comes to relationships.

I have come to the realization that timing is a bitch, it certainly is, but it’s only a bitch if we ourselves allow it to be.

Truth is, I think that you just never really meet the right people at the wrong time because deep down you just know that the right people are timeless.

The right people don’t make you wonder whether or not you want to be with them, you just know. You know that no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better, everything is just better since they came along.

I think that when you are with the right person, time just automatically falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your busy schedule, because they become part of that schedule. They somehow become the backbone of it.

Your happiness becomes your priority and as long as they are contributing to it you find that you can work around the rest. I think that the right people don’t stand in your way of things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. They should encourage you to do better, try harder and DREAM BIGGER!

These people bring out the best in you, they make you want to fight harder than you have ever fought before. There simply are no limits with these people.

My thoughts are that when we pass someone up because the “timing is wrong”, what we really mean to say is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person.

I don’t think there will ever be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships that is why the issue of timing becomes irrelevant.When someone is right for you, you make time to let them into your life and you will find that that kind of timing is always right.

Love & Light

Donna

Thank you for visiting my page. I hope that you will find some daily inspiration through this page and that it contributes to your journey to authenticity.

Keep coming back!!!!!